I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
