Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
