Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
