Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
God, I missed his penis.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
