Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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