I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
