this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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