I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
