he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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