I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize