dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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