Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
