I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
