Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
40s are totally the cure
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
