i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
