I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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