hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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