i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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