Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
