So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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