she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
