I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
this will be a night to untag.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
