Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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