i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
