So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
