I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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