Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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