I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
As shirtless as possible
I need moral support for this bender
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
