i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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