do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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