Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
