Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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