Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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