I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
