Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Text me some of your sweat
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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