He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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