I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize