so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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