Please, let me fuck your mom
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
