Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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