bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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