On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
