Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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