she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
