ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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