Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
