Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
