apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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