About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
