I think scott just propositioned me for sex
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
