i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
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my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
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It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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