can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
