i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Randomize