remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
