the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
