The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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