We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
