he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
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Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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