I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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