Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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