Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
