please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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